Each relationship looks different on the outside.

Though on the inside, most healthy relationships consist of similar elements.

Things like sharing core values and possessing emotional intelligence can quickly add up to relationship success. And these aren’t things that happen overnight.

Setting relationship goals, infused with love and respect, is a surefire strategy for being more satisfied with your partner and your love life in general.

Here are six ways to tell if your relationship goals are working in your favor.

1. Do You Have Your Own Life?

Although you’re a couple, you are also each individual people who need pursuits and endeavors of your own.

No relationship, romantic or otherwise, should take you away from important goals in your life.
Remember, it can be good to have lunch with your friend or to attend a community class to learn a new skill. The two of you don’t have to be glued together 24/7 to be a strong couple.

2. Are You Nurturing the “Third Party”?

What you might not realize is that there are three of you in this relationship. You, your partner, and the relationship itself.

When you decided to be a couple, you ultimately created another entity or a third party, per se.

Just like the two of you, this entity needs to be nurtured to stay alive and vibrant. To keep the spark alive, rekindle the romance with a deliberate moment of emotional intimacy, such as weekly dates or weekends away.

3. What Relationship Rituals Do You Practice?

Relationship rituals might sound intimidating. Really, they’re simply the everyday habits that both of you have embraced.

For example, put each other to bed, greet and say goodbye to one another, and check in throughout the day.

An important factor in setting healthy relationship goals is to maintain the connectivity between you. Positive relationship rituals are a solid method for doing just that, because these small actions add up in a big way.

4. Do You Seek Adventure Together?

Couples who invite novelty into their lives tend to stay more invigorated overall.

And this doesn’t just mean in the bedroom.

Relationship boredom is a real thing. To conquer it, you’ve got to get up and go try something new together. Even if it’s not “your thing.”

In pursuing adventures together, not only will you be happier with your partner, but you will be happier with the relationship in general.

5. Are You in Their Corner?

Do you like the feeling of someone having your back? To encourage you and fight for you?

In a way, it can give you that boost of confidence needed to live life to the fullest and go after those big goals you may otherwise let slip away.

Be each other’s cheerleader and support team. Challenge one another to be better, try harder, or to push past doubt and insecurities.

Stimulate each other mentally and remember to practice acceptance as well. The aim is to be each other’s number one fan.

6. What Do You Imagine for the Future?

Do you see a future together or are you stuck picturing how you’ll get through the next year without breaking up?

Even with the natural ebb and flow of romantic relationships, healthy couples dream together.

Thinking about the future can help to align your life goals. It can even bring you closer together by communicating what you each really want in the relationship.

Plus, dreaming about your future together gives you a goal you can pursue alongside each other. Knowing you’re not in this alone seems to create more motivation.

Take the first step…

If you’re ready to take a step toward establishing healthy relationship goals, I would like to help. Please contact me by phone or email so we can discuss how we might work together to achieve your therapeutic goals as quickly and effectively as possible.

I look forward to hearing from you.

Linda K. Laffey, MFT

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