Here are 3 helpful dating advice tips

Are you tired of repeating the same dating disasters and want to know how to avoid them? 

Have you had enough of dating the same disappointing guy again and again?

If you would like to change the course of your dating experience, here are 3 helpful dating advice tips that can do just that.

1. Chemistry Is NOT Everything

• So many online dating profiles include a phrase like, “Chemistry is everything.”  Well, if that was really true, there would be a lot more happy couples in the world today, and way fewer online dating sites packed with singles looking for love.
• Think about the person in your past you felt the strongest chemistry with.  Where is that person today?  If you are like the majority of us, that person is no longer in your life.
• Truth:  Chemistry is important.  We all need and want to feel attracted to our partners.  But there is something that is even more important if you are looking to create a lifetime of love, and that is compatibility.  Pay close attention to shared interests, values, lifestyles, and world views.  Chemistry eventually wears off, and you need to share more than that to sustain a thriving relationship for decades.

2. Do NOT Settle

• Do not let past relationship failures lead you to believe that you need to settle for less than what you want or what you deserve.  The last guy you dated is just that, and has nothing to do with the next guy you will date.  Leave the past guy in the past, and embrace a bright new dream with a completely different guy who is able and willing to give you what you want and need out of your relationship.
• Be persistent in dating to find the guy who makes you feel the way you want to feel in your relationship.
• Whoever he is, there are many more out there, so if he’s not making you happy, do not waste time in a dead-end relationship.  Have the courage to recognize it, break ties, and move on.

3. Accept Things As They Are

• How does he treat you?
• Attraction is great, but if he is not consistent, caring, an effective communicator, and interested in a long-term commitment, then you essentially have nothing.
• If he causes you to feel anxious, frustrated, confused or unhappy, chances are that he is the wrong guy for you.
• Do NOT try to change him.  It will not work.  Just accept that he is one of the majority of men out there who will not be a good fit, and move on to find one who will.

If you find yourself struggling again and again with dating and relationship issues and would like some help navigating through and resolving those issues, I look forward to hearing from you.

Linda K. Laffey, MFT

(805) 375-5860