Breaking up is hard to do, no matter how long you may have been in a relationship. Some couples are able to end things on good terms while other relationships end on a rocky note.

Regardless of how your relationship ended, being able to survive and move on is the most important thing. You might be feeling low right now, but you can take comfort in knowing it won’t always be this way.

If you’re struggling to get through your days since your relationship came to an end, don’t give up hope just yet. Let’s look at three essential keys to survival you can use to get through this.

1. Take Time to Grieve

Again, it doesn’t matter how your relationship ended. It’s still a loss, and it is good for you to grieve that loss.

Everyone’s grieving process is different. Also, everyone has a different timeline for it. You might have friends or family telling you to “get over it” or even people who are trying to introduce you to a new partner. If you’re not ready for things like that, let people know.

Grieve in a way that works for you. It’s okay to do things such as cry or dedicate more time for yourself.

Remember, part of grieving is accepting what happened. It’s not healthy to hold on to the idea that you’ll get back together with your ex. Recognize that you split up and accept it. When you do that, you’ll be able to move through the other areas of grief.

2. Stay Busy

There are multiple benefits of keeping yourself busy after the end of a relationship. First, being productive is a great way to distract yourself from your own negative thoughts. While you shouldn’t avoid your own thoughts and feelings, temporary distractions can help to get you out of your own head for a while so you can relax.

Staying busy can also open doors to new hobbies or interests. Finding something new that you enjoy doing can make getting over your ex easier. Even if you want to take a walk around the neighborhood, clean the house, or go to a movie by yourself, any way you can stay busy will benefit you.

Try not to spend too much time alone. Isolating yourself from the rest of the world will make it harder to work through your own feelings. You might not feel excited about spending time with people right now, but it’s important for your mental health.

Call a friend to go have a cup of coffee. Or, make new friends by going to various social gatherings. Whatever you can do to connect with people will make the healing process easier.

3. Find Support

Family and friends can be a great support system after a breakup. But, if you’re really struggling to get through your current circumstances, you might want to seek out specific support groups. Talking with other people who have been through similar situations can help.

You might start to feel like you’re alone or that no one truly understands how you feel. Talking to others who have struggled with the end of a relationship will help you to realize you’re not the only one dealing with these problems. It can also help to give you hope, recognizing that others have gotten through it.

Still, if friends, family, or support groups still don’t seem to be helping the way you want, you may benefit from seeking out professional help. Depending on the circumstances, a breakup can lead to issues like stress, depression, or even anxiety.

Talking to a therapist can help you get to the bottom of what you’re feeling, and learn more effective ways not just to survive, but to thrive.

Take the first step…

If you are struggling with the end of your relationship, loneliness, or how to move forward, and you’re ready to start resolving those issues, I would like to help.

Please contact me via phone or email so we can discuss how we might work together to achieve your therapeutic goals as quickly and effectively as possible.

I look forward to hearing from you.

Linda K. Laffey, MFT

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